Getting into Nam was crazy, the chinese custom officer needed to see my license as well as mended passport due to water damage, and then i had to show like 5 different vietnam officers/checkpoints my passport. i was like come on, really, again...., you guys should take a picture it will last longer. then they checked my luggage. i was like, no i don't have any illegal banyon trees or snuff im trying to import, and no i dont want to stay in nam illegally working in a rice field, even though you do get a money straw-cone hat out of the gig. then i went to exchange money and the guy tried to give me like 7200 dong when i shoulda got 720,000. i was like get the fetch outta here Charles! and yup, in vietnam i'm a millionaire, who woulda thought i could turn 650 into a milly just by crossin a border, maybe that's why they checked me out so much.
Hanoi has like the craziest traffic ever, i thought china was bad, hanoi is on a different level. the first night we went to the water puppet show which is hilarious to say the least. plus, the hostel im staying at has free beer nightly from 7-8pm and free breakfast, epic.
went to Halong Bay for a night and saw the epic limestone peaks.
well....off to free beer hour....chyeah!!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
The Chinese Commandments
-Hawk up large, loud, and full-throated loogies every 5 mins, preferably in public places such as busses, restaurants, and crowded walkways
-Sleep whenever possible during any free time in the most awkward places, a min of 3 naps required per day
-Copy anything that looks good, western culture, and copyright infringement work the best
-Eat at least one disgusting thing daily, chicken feet, lamb dick, cow head, and dried fish will do
-Litter at least two times daily
-Stair and gawk at all foreigners for a minimum of 5 seconds according to the following: Latin 5 seconds, white 7.5 seconds, black 10 seconds
-Spend at least 3 hours per day on QQ praising the glorious Government
-Have a public exchange with someone twice daily in the harshest/ shrillest tones possible
-Never answer any question in class
-Sing at least once per week the worst songs pop music has to offer at your local KTV
-Display the peace sign for every photo
-Binge Drink large quantities of horrible-tasting alcohol with high ranking govt and university officials at dinner occasions
-Expect the opposite of whatever plans you have been given
-Drive lack a jackass.... just cuz....we won't give you a ticket
-Don't worry about trash, throw it in a corner and forget about it, we'll burn it next month
-Block all internet sites that let the people have an opinion
-If a citizen so happens to win Nobel peace prize , make sure to hide them from the public and sentence them to jail
-Even if a foreigner is speaking Chinese, pretend you don't understand them
-Make everything to last either 3 uses or a maximum of 17 days, that way when shit breaks people will have to buy shit again
-Light at least 2 fireworks per week at random or face a fine of 30 yuan
-Cold shall be endured without complaint, heaters in the dorms and classrooms are completely out of the question
-Always strive to uphold our record of the worst bathrooms known to man
-When walking, cut in front of and impede your fellow neighbors progress in order to get ahead of them
-When playing basketball, make sure to spin wildly out of control when shooting, preferably a low percentage shot while guarded by 3 people
-When in don't, make up the answer
-Make sure children always use public bathrooms....as in public for Jesus and everyone else to see....Mcdonald's, sacred temples, and grocery stores are some excellent choices for your children
-Hey girls, make sure to carry an umbrella with you at all times....it could be a gorgeous day and you dont wanna get those sun rays on you. god forbid you would look anything but ghostly pale
-On hot days, make sure to walk around with your large 'byjo-buddha' belly and flabby man-tits on prominent display
-If it's not fake...it's not real
-When witnessing a domestic dispute....take pictures and laugh
-When involved in a car accident....make sure to argue for at least 1 hour on whose fault it was in order to thoroughly jam traffic
-Sleep whenever possible during any free time in the most awkward places, a min of 3 naps required per day
-Copy anything that looks good, western culture, and copyright infringement work the best
-Eat at least one disgusting thing daily, chicken feet, lamb dick, cow head, and dried fish will do
-Litter at least two times daily
-Stair and gawk at all foreigners for a minimum of 5 seconds according to the following: Latin 5 seconds, white 7.5 seconds, black 10 seconds
-Spend at least 3 hours per day on QQ praising the glorious Government
-Have a public exchange with someone twice daily in the harshest/ shrillest tones possible
-Never answer any question in class
-Sing at least once per week the worst songs pop music has to offer at your local KTV
-Display the peace sign for every photo
-Binge Drink large quantities of horrible-tasting alcohol with high ranking govt and university officials at dinner occasions
-Expect the opposite of whatever plans you have been given
-Drive lack a jackass.... just cuz....we won't give you a ticket
-Don't worry about trash, throw it in a corner and forget about it, we'll burn it next month
-Block all internet sites that let the people have an opinion
-If a citizen so happens to win Nobel peace prize , make sure to hide them from the public and sentence them to jail
-Even if a foreigner is speaking Chinese, pretend you don't understand them
-Make everything to last either 3 uses or a maximum of 17 days, that way when shit breaks people will have to buy shit again
-Light at least 2 fireworks per week at random or face a fine of 30 yuan
-Cold shall be endured without complaint, heaters in the dorms and classrooms are completely out of the question
-Always strive to uphold our record of the worst bathrooms known to man
-When walking, cut in front of and impede your fellow neighbors progress in order to get ahead of them
-When playing basketball, make sure to spin wildly out of control when shooting, preferably a low percentage shot while guarded by 3 people
-When in don't, make up the answer
-Make sure children always use public bathrooms....as in public for Jesus and everyone else to see....Mcdonald's, sacred temples, and grocery stores are some excellent choices for your children
-Hey girls, make sure to carry an umbrella with you at all times....it could be a gorgeous day and you dont wanna get those sun rays on you. god forbid you would look anything but ghostly pale
-On hot days, make sure to walk around with your large 'byjo-buddha' belly and flabby man-tits on prominent display
-If it's not fake...it's not real
-When witnessing a domestic dispute....take pictures and laugh
-When involved in a car accident....make sure to argue for at least 1 hour on whose fault it was in order to thoroughly jam traffic
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Kinmen Taiwan
I hopped a ferry to kinmen Taiwan for a night. I was going to stay longer but it was expensive and lame. The fun part was renting a scooter and cruising the island. Saw a bunch of old military forts and old tanks and lots of temples. Other than the currency being different, it was pretty much china and kind of a depressing place. Now back in Xiamen, going to nanning tomorrow so I can hop a bus to Hanoi and out of cold dreary china
Xiamen-gulang yu
Staying on a small island off the coast of Xiamen with lots of seafood, old colonial architecture, coffee shops, and no cars. We saw a bird aviary, walked around the island, went to the beach, did the cable car ride, piano museum, some gardens, checked out Xiamen university, the Saturday market, and then walked some more
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Fuzhou
Fuzhou has been great. I stayed with some of michaels Chinese family in their home for 4 days. We've done many things from drinking tea, viewing pagodas, hiking in the mountains, trying new foods, playing with their fun kids, touring town, and seeing a show last night. Our host benny wantedme to volunteer so I went up on stage for part of the Chinese clown/magicians act. It was interesting nometheless. Lilly, michaels sister also gave me a haircut which was pretty good. Got some good shots and tomorrow were off to Xiamen on the bullet train.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Shanghai
the Bund, sightseeing tunnel, Nanjing road, FIREWORKS, shanghai art museum, shanghai circus (their version of cirque du solei, which was the coolest show i've ever seen) renmin square, shanghai world financial center( third tallest building in the world), saw the chinese pavilion from the 2010 expo, famous tea garden and tea tasting, shopping plazas and malls, river ferry, niketown......
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Cambodia and BUNGEE JUMPING IN PHUKET
Cambodia was totally awesome, at first your greeted with large amounts of poverty, but when you get to Siem Reap, the city is actually very nice. The first person we met was our Tuk Tuk driver, Tiger, who drove us around for a whole day. "I'm a Tuk Tuk Driver because I drive Tuk Tuk's, and that's the F'n 5 star hotel!" He was awesome.
Angkor Wat is unbelievable. It's like the pyramids mixed with machu pichu mixed with the aztec ruins. It was the coolest archaelogical site I have ever seen, and makes England's stonehenge look like child's play or legos. We explored that for a whole day and then went to a floating village. We took a boat down the river and sat on the bow with our legs outstretched over the side and had a beer while taking some amazing photographs. On the floating village we had time to explore, see a pool of crocodiles, eat some food and take in the sights.
At night time we got foot massages by Dr. Fish, a giant tub of fish that eat the dead skin off your feet while you drink a beer. The next night we also got "4 Handys," oil massages by two cambodian women at the same time, which are out of this world epicly awesome, best massage ever.
Then we went back to Thailand and Phuket, where me and JT bungee jumped 150 feet at Jungle Bungy. For my jump, I was dipped all the way into the water up to my knees, and then rocketed back up to space up to 100 feet again, it was awesome, and definitely crazier than my first jump because you touch the water.
Now were in Shanghai for Chinese New Year, should be full of fireworks and dragon parades.
Angkor Wat is unbelievable. It's like the pyramids mixed with machu pichu mixed with the aztec ruins. It was the coolest archaelogical site I have ever seen, and makes England's stonehenge look like child's play or legos. We explored that for a whole day and then went to a floating village. We took a boat down the river and sat on the bow with our legs outstretched over the side and had a beer while taking some amazing photographs. On the floating village we had time to explore, see a pool of crocodiles, eat some food and take in the sights.
At night time we got foot massages by Dr. Fish, a giant tub of fish that eat the dead skin off your feet while you drink a beer. The next night we also got "4 Handys," oil massages by two cambodian women at the same time, which are out of this world epicly awesome, best massage ever.
Then we went back to Thailand and Phuket, where me and JT bungee jumped 150 feet at Jungle Bungy. For my jump, I was dipped all the way into the water up to my knees, and then rocketed back up to space up to 100 feet again, it was awesome, and definitely crazier than my first jump because you touch the water.
Now were in Shanghai for Chinese New Year, should be full of fireworks and dragon parades.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)