The Chinese Commandments

-Hawk up large, loud, and full-throated loogies every 5 mins, preferably in public places such as busses, restaurants, and crowded walkways
-Sleep whenever possible during any free time in the most awkward places, a min of 3 naps required per day
-Copy anything that looks good, western culture,  and copyright infringement work the best
-Eat at least one disgusting thing daily, chicken feet, lamb dick, cow head, and dried fish will do
-Litter at least two times daily
-Stair and gawk at all foreigners for a minimum of 5 seconds according to the following: Latin 5 seconds, white 7.5 seconds, black 10 seconds
-Spend at least 3 hours per day on QQ praising the glorious Government
-Have a public exchange with someone twice daily in the harshest/ shrillest tones possible
-Never answer any question in class
-Sing at least once per week the worst songs pop music has to offer at your local KTV
-Display the peace sign for every photo
-Binge Drink large quantities of horrible-tasting alcohol with high ranking govt and university officials at dinner occasions
-Expect the opposite of whatever plans you have been given
-Drive lack a jackass.... just cuz....we won't give you a ticket
-Don't worry about trash, throw it in a corner and forget about it, we'll burn it next month
-Block all internet sites that let the people have an opinion
-If a citizen so happens to win Nobel peace prize , make sure to hide them from the public and sentence them to jail
-Even if a foreigner is speaking Chinese, pretend you don't understand them
-Make everything to last either 3 uses or a maximum of 17 days, that way when shit breaks people will have to buy shit again
-Light at least 2 fireworks per week at random or face a fine of 30 yuan
-Cold shall be endured without complaint, heaters in the dorms and classrooms are completely out of the question
-Always strive to uphold our record of the worst bathrooms known to man
-When walking, cut in front of and impede your fellow neighbors progress in order to get ahead of them
-When playing basketball, make sure to spin wildly out of control when shooting, preferably a low percentage shot while guarded by 3 people
-When in don't, make up the answer
-Make sure children always use public bathrooms....as in public for Jesus and everyone else to see....Mcdonald's, sacred temples, and grocery stores are some excellent choices for your children
-Hey girls, make sure to carry an umbrella with you at all times....it could be a gorgeous day and you dont wanna get those sun rays on you. god forbid you would look anything but ghostly pale
-On hot days, make sure to walk around with your large 'byjo-buddha' belly and flabby man-tits on prominent display
-If it's not fake...it's not real
-When witnessing a domestic dispute....take pictures and laugh
-When involved in a car accident....make sure to argue for at least 1 hour on whose fault it was in order to thoroughly jam traffic